Today was a no good, very bad day.  Work is fricking INSANE!  New students this time of year, so that just adds to the madness.  To say I'm very overwhelmed is an understatement.  Something is going to have to give, soon.  :(

My kids are gone this weekend.  Adam took dropped them with my parents while I did a photoshoot last night because I had to work today and we don't have a Friday sitter.  I'm SO incredibly thankful for my mom watching them {and keeping them all weekend since we have adult activities going on} but I'm always extra emotional and out of sorts when they're gone.  :/

My to do list is a mile long…the bank, the dmv {UGH!}, the bike shop, the shoe store, clean the house, edit {x5!}, the post office, email clients, stop by a clients house to finish her photo assignment, etc. but the only thing I'm focused on is getting a nap {which will hopefully help my mood! but unfortunately makes me miss Mudock--he's the best snuggler!} and going out with my husband tonight.  BRING IT!

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

PS…Let's hope our weekend picks up a little, on our first kids free night, we bought Chinese takeout and sat on the couch watching recorded TV {we rented movie, but never even watched it} until we both fell asleep on the couch {me} and chair {Adam}.  This is the {married} life! :)

I promise, my next post will be more upbeat! :)

{two hours}

Because all good posts include photos!  These are the photos I get when I'm gone.  I should totally be home in the middle of that family sandwich!  And yes, because this is already the world's largest caption, it should be noted that my daughter prefers to be naked all.the.time!

It's amazing what two hours can do for a person's soul!

The truth is, I've been in a pretty ugly funk this December.  Add to it a husband that has been sick for 6 weeks and a baby who loves to be rocked all night long and you have one crazy, tired, emotional mama!

So…after leaving work three times in 24 hours to take care of family issues, having our car breakdown, and getting a speeding ticket {from one of those stupid-shouldn't even be allowed, camera captured speed detectors!} I did what any all-star mama does…I called my own mama to shout and cry {literally!} the entire way to work.

And honestly?  It felt pretty good.  It must have been intense because she offered begged to come get my kids unit the weekend {don't forget::we live a good 2 hours each way from them---yes, I know, she is THE BEST!!!}.  And a little while after that, my husband called and told me to plan on getting out of the house for the night.

So that's what I'm doing now, taking two hours to get away and recharge my batteries.  He walked in the door, I gave the kids some smooches, wished them a good night and walked out the door.  {side note: isn't is awesome having an involved dad that knows what's going on--no step by step instructions, or concern that they won't function without me}  While he is come doing the nightly routine--supper, play, clean the kitchen, read, bedtime, etc.--I'm out spending Kohl's cash, grabbing dinner {shout out to Panera for their new Chicken Tortellini Pasta--OMG!} and finishing a couple of blog posts.  I might even get real rowdy and go tan before I go home! :)

I was told to be back home at 8:30 and the kids would be in bed and I would have a surprise waiting {no, I promise, not that kind of surprise -- sick husband, remember?!}.  I must say, I am very curious to see what he has been up to while I'm away…

So thank God for my amazing mama and ridiculously awesome husband that force me out of the house to recharge and focus on all of the good I really do have in my life.  {like my friend giving birth to a healthy baby boy today, or having a best friend {and parents!} that listen to me vent and offers to take my kids, or having to healthy kids to wake up to each day, and a husband that pushes out the door because he knows that it's what I need somedays to help me be a better wife a mama, or a {future} brother in law that comes over to jump our car first thing in the morning, in the freezing cold on his day off.  I have health and family, everything else that matters will eventually fall into place.  All in His time, right?!

I will blog again...

someday!  Until then I'll just use this space to complain about everything…work, weight, friends, money, holidays….

While everyone else is busy seeing taking their kids to see Santa, hanging holiday decor, hosting holiday parties, buying thoughtful, elaborate gifts, and making magical memories...I'll be sitting behind my computer being grumpy and eating my kids Advent chocolates.  The truth is, I have zero motivation for anything right now.  Adam and his dad hung the lights outside at the lake, I threw a little bit of Christmas decor up this weekend, and I've done a decent amount of shopping {from my computer, of course} but other than that…NOTHING!  I just don't 'feel it' this year.  I'm not happy and excited.  I'm broke and exhausted.  I can't even muster the strength to give either of our parents Christmas ideas for me.  It's just that I am so unhappy with how I look that I don't even want to leave my house let alone go and try things on at the store.  Plus everything is so darn expensive that it's hard to justify anything.

If you want my real Christmas list, this would be it…

a weekend in a cozy hotel, out of town, where they would color my hair, massage my body, and bring my room service.  And I could sleep the 'bags under my eyes' away.

or

a weekend by myself at home, where I could sit and finish all of the photo books & blog posts that I've started over the past year.  Where I could actually clean my entire house, like ceiling fans and sheets.  And I could sleep until my heart desired.

I would like all of this without the guilt of being a selfish mom {impossible!} and without feeling like my kids were inconveniencing anyone.  

5 things that are totally stressing me out right now!

1.  I have so.many.things to post about!  Jordyn's 2nd Birthday, Tubes {again}, the Gym, Thanksgiving, Photoshoots {all kinds of them!}...

2.  Cullyn was up seven{!!} times last night.  Ugh!  Between ear infections and teething, I may never sleep again!  :/  I was off {real} work for 5 days and am so, so behind!  Plus it looks like a bomb went off in my house.  Specifically the kitchen, and laundry room. Not enough time...ever!

3.  The number of Pre-Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, & Cyber Monday emails I received is just ridiculous!  My email is filled & I don't even know where to start.

4.  Photography will slow down after this week, but right now I'm just plain EXHAUSTED! {see #2}  I have mini sessions scheduled for Friday.  They're 45 minutes North and I have zero of the three 'props' prepared. :/ I haven't even ordered Christmas cards yet!  {I usually mail them on December 1!!)

5.  Adam hung the Christmas lights outside the lakehouse this weekend, but other than that...nothing is decorated.  I wish was all Yay, it's Christmas!  Lights, music, wrapped presents! like everyone else on IG and FB.  But if I'm being totally honest, I'm too exhausted to care.  I have 90% of the shopping {0% of the wrapping} done for my kids and nieces and nephews.  And could really careless about getting gifts from parents right now-I don't even have the time {or energy} to give them a list.  Money is tight right now, and I almost wish we just eliminated gifts for anyone over 18. period.  No $10 or $20 {useless!} grab bag gifts, gifts to bosses or teachers.

Bah humbug, I know! 

Not Me! Monday...

It was Not Me that 'freaked out' [insert huffing..puffing..teeth gritting..and stomping here] this weekend because I can't get my new Nike+ to read the frickin' sensor..I'm always calm, cool, & collected!!

*any help is welcomed! :)

Post It™ Note Tuesday..

WARNING: I am grumpy!