Thursday, October 15, 2015

It Takes A Village

If their is one thing this year has taught me, it's that it truly takes a village to raise a family.

I didn't believe it at all when I got married.  I was all 'whatev's!' I got this!  We had our friends, but we didn't really need anyone.  Life was easy, we we're good!

And then I had my first kid, and I let my mom into the teeny tiny little village, but many of the friends went.

Since then, we've added a second kid.  We've started preschool and added extracurricular activities.  We've lost more friends {life is busy, some friends are needy, some aren't don't hold the same values, etc.} We've found our groove a bit.  Our 'new normal' if you will.

And since then, I've wised up a bit.  It took me about five years, but I now know that while we can survive by ourselves, it's really much harder and more stressful than if we let a village help.  And we thrive with a village.

This year alone we...
Switched Sitters
This involved canning our babysitter, interviewing a thousand dozen+ potential nannies, hiring a nanny, let her go, hiring our niece, starting at our current sitter.  And over this 6 months?  My mom watched the kids {24/7!} for a week each month!  And my MIL drove to Ankeny and watched the kids.  And my youngest sister watched them for a few days.  And my other sister took them a day.  Yes, we could have taken all of these days off work, but I probably would have ended up loosing my job!

Borrowed Vehicles from my In-Laws
Thanks to the transmission going out in my van, I've put more miles on my MIL's van than she has this month!  And we've borrowed by FIL's truck at least 3 times this year.  Yes, we could have rented cars for all of this, but it gets expensive to rent large vehicles from rental companies.

Moved
My parents, in laws, sister & BIL, & friend Jesse helped us move everything from the condo to the lakehouse.  This is probably a given, but we could have done it ourselves or hired movers, but then we would have probably ended up divorced, been moving for 3 years, broke!  We didn't even have to ask our parents, they just stepped in and help do the work.  My MIL also swapped cars, took my kids so they didn't have to endure moving day, made dinner for everyone help move, and then cleaned the entire lake house because I had to leave before they were done and she knew I would like have a clean house when I arrived late last night.  And she did all of this without being asked.  I am so thankful that my kids' lives are filled with such positive examples!

Dealt with Preschool Issues
I haven't shared much about it, mainly because I just haven't had time to sit down and write it, or because we haven't really found the 'solution' yet, but we have the best daycare providers and preschool teachers on the planet!  They care so much about her and her happiness.  Jordyn has recently been crying that she doesn't want to go to school {like crying the day before, the night before, and all morning from the time she wakes up until she goes to school}  Once she is there, she does great.  Her sitters have done anything I ask including talk to, prepare her for what's happening, ignore it, sit with her, etc.We've tried it all and I'm just not convinced that 'it's a phase' Her teacher is willing to do anything find the right fit for her.  Academically she's above her class, but she doesn't speak to anyone {except the teachers} the entire time!  Not even play time or gym time.  My heart can't handle that!  She is naturally shy, but she doesn't have any issues making friends at her daycare, or with our friends' kids, or when she goes to my mom's daycare, etc.  So we're going to try switching her to the class ahead {4 y/o} since it doesn't work well with our schedule for 3 afternoons a week, they said it's okay to send her just 2 afternoons a week.  And because our sitters already have 2 pick ups at the same time, her teacher is going to take her to daycare after class!  And because Cullyn needs picked up at 11:40a on Fridays and Jordyn needs dropped off at noon, they're going to take her 20 minutes early every.single.day.  Seriously, we could not be blessed with a better village.

Some friends come and go, and lives change.  We no longer have 50+ friends, but I'm so blessed to have a rock solid village right now. Even if that only consists of my family {including my mother & father in law}, our  kids' sitters & teachers, the a dozen friends. Life would be so much harder without these incredible people.  When you find people that love your babies like your own?  Grab on and don't let go!

4 comments:

  1. Soo true, funny enough when my MIL isn't available to watch Noah, life gets complicated haha, I have no one else in the day to watch him! So you are living full time at the lake house now? Are you still searching for a new place or just going to live there? How far from home was it?

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    1. Yes, we are full-time lake livers right now. :) Still searching for that perfect place. It's 60 miles {about 90 minutes w/ the daycare drop off} I'll post about our 'new normal' soon! :)

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  2. You are so lucky to have an amazing family near by to help you out! I would kill for that (my mom is a plane ride away, but Brian's mom is 3 hours, so she could be here in an emergency but it's not around the corner...know what I mean?). Sounds like Jordyn has an amazing teacher!

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    1. I can't even imagine how you feel. It's SO hard with our family being 1 hour and 2+ hours away. A great support system is definitely something you don't take for granted! I will say, I feel like the further you are from family, the more you learn to rely on good friends!

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Thanks for taking the time to read some of our story & especially for commenting!

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