Update [Murdock is Sick]

Thank you so much for all of the sweet comments and emails regarding Murdock.  I haven't replied to anyone since it's been soo crazy around here, but please know that I really appreciate all of your love and support.  Thank you!

If you missed the beginning of this news, read here.  [Warning: Very Graphic Photos Below]

About 5:30 Friday night we finally got the okay to go home.  They biopsied several locations on his body. He has 5-8 sets of stitches that need taken out in 10-14 days.  When he was under anesthesia for the biopsies, they loaded him with fluids.  They sent us home with pain medication to give him every 6-8 hours.  Since he hadn't eaten since Wednesday, Dr. Foster recommended we try to give him meat baby food.  We started that Friday night, and it's gone pretty well since.  He's been eating 2-4 jars each day, which isn't nearly what he needs, but it's better than nothing.

Murdock 12/02/2011 After Surgery

This morning he seemed to be acting better.  I took him outside [downstairs since we live in a 2nd floor condo] to urinate.  On our way back upstairs he fell and couldn't get up [or down] the stairs.  Thankfully, Adam was still home so I could yell for him to come carry Murdock up the stairs.  I honestly don't know what would have happened if he was already gone.  We had already made arrangements to go weight Murdock at our local vet [Dr. Dotz] this morning.  After Murdocks fall, we spoke with our specialist [Dr. Foster] and she recommended we have his blood glucose tested.  Adam called into work and took him to the vet with me.  His glucose levels seemed fine, so we're assuming he fell because he's so weak.

Murdock Close Up 12/02/2011 After Surgery

We're hoping to have the bacterial portion of the biopsies back tomorrow, but the fungal portion will take 10-14 days for results.  He weighed 87 lbs. this morning [-1 since Friday].  So far, he's eaten 3 [small] jars of baby food today, which is progress.  Although, we just noticed he has a large [golf ball size] open wound on the inside of his left leg.  We're really starting to worry about his increased risk of infection with all of these open wounds.

Murdock 12/02/2011 - Back of Back Leg

Have I mentioned that Adam has an upper GI procedure tomorrow, so we're dealing with that too?  Since he's going to be put out, he'll need a driver so...I'm off to find a dog sitter for tomorrow since we still can't leave Murdock home alone yet.

Murdock 12/05/2011 - Inside left leg [thigh area]

Dear lord...please grant me strength!

Are You Listening God [Murdock & LIFE Update]

Wow...this week has just sucked!  Just when I don't think it can get worse...it does!  I'm trying really hard to stay positive and be thankful for everything I have...a happy, healthy baby... an awesome relationship with my husband... a warm home ...awesome family... But I'm not going to lie...it's been tough!

Again, thank you everyone for your [unanswered...sorry!] calls, texts, FB messages, emails, etc.  We really do appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers!

Here's an update since Murdock became sick and went to the vet...

Monday night Dr. Foster called to check on Murdock.  He wasn't getting worse, but he definitely wasn't getting any better.  He had eaten about 5 jars of baby food all day.  She suggested we start the medication tomorrow [Wednesday].  I was to call her after Adam's surgery.

Tuesday Ashley took vacation to come over and dogsit Murdock for us.  [I should also mention that while she was here she cleaned my house!!  Thank you sis!]  I took Adam and Jordyn to the clinic where Adam was having his Upper GI.  Long story short, the doctor ended up giving Adam 3 times the normal about of sedation medication but he never really was 'out' enough for her to be able to complete the procedure.  So...she said he would have to see his family physician to get approval for anesthesia and reschedule at the main hospital where he could be put under by an anesthesiologist.  Awesome...did I mention that we're trying to get it done by the end of the year for insurance purposes?!  Adam came home and slept for hours as the doctor said he would because of all of the medication he received.
Dr. Foster [the vet] called me back around 6pm and went over the 4 prescriptions she was calling in for Murdock.  She wanted them started that night.  After a whole ordeal at the pharmacy [& $275 later] I was home and wondering what in the world I was going to do with a dog that was physically unable to go up and down the stairs from our house to the back yard to go to the bathroom with a medication that makes him urinate way more [speaking from his last experience on this steroid] and a husband that was unable to walk without getting dizzy let alone carry a 88lb. dog up 20 stairs!  So...Adam and I decided it would be best if I took Jordyn and Murdock down to the lake house [with no stairs and hardwood floors in case he had any accidents].  We made it to the lakehouse I was was able to give Murdock his first dose of medicine around 9:30pm.    Adam's parents stayed over with me to help with the baby and pup.

Wednesday was not fun giving Murdock his medications [see below] but with the help of my father-in-law, we survived.  We spent the day hanging out at the lake house.  At 5pm [when Murdock hadn't started urinating all over the place like anticipated and seemed to have a bit more strength] we decided to head home.  I felt pretty stupid going to the lake house since he doesn't seem to have the uncontrollable urination problem like we anticipated, but I know that it wasn't fair to make Murdock walk up and down the stairs at our condo any more that he had to, especially since Adam was going to be home from 8:30a to 8:30p.  We got home last night around 8:30 and called it a night shortly after.

Today he seems to be doing about the same.  He fell coming up the stairs for me again around noon, but luckily we were only 3 stairs from the top and I was able to [slowly] carry him up one stair at a time.  I won't be taking him out anymore before Adam gets home.  Watching your dog fall up the stairs is the hardest thing ever!  :(  So far today he has eaten 1 jar of baby food, 1 cup of rice, a scrambled egg, and some bites of chicken.  Getting him to eat has been increasing difficult since we've started his medications.  The problem is, we can't open his mouth enough to toss the pills in and have him swallow them so we have to crush up the pills and 1) mix with water and syringe into his mouth or 2) sneak into his food.  The medications he is taking are extremely bitter once you break the capsule, so every time we stick something in his mouth he thinks we're giving him the 'yucky stuff.'

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Here is our medication process...twice a day :(

All the meds... [Pain, Infection, Blood Cell Count, Infection, Steroid]

Doxycycline | Pentoxifylline | Prednisone | Clindamycin

Open the capsules

Dump the capsules into a bowl 

Crush the tablets 

Not Cocaine...I swear!

Mix together & Add water

Load the Syringe and quirt into his mouth [3-4 times]

Here are his current eating habits...

'Meat' Baby Food & Canned Wet Dog Food

Rice to mix with the baby food & wet dog food

Memorial Weekend [in photos]

Nephew Peyton [4]

The boys [Adam, Tim, Eric, Keaton]

Baby Rylee

Murdock!

Nephew Peyton

Murdock

Eric & Hunter

Heather & Eric

Campfire Saturday Night

Nephew Peyton, SIL Alicia, Hunter

Me w/ my catch!

Murdock & Niece Vanessa

Nephew Peyton w/ Smores

Saturday Night

Grandpa & Murdock

Grandpa, Murdock, & Adam

Is the week over yet? [Murdock is SICK]

That moment this morning when my daughter [5 weeks & 5 days old] when tumbling off our ottoman hitting the chair and crashing to the ground [when I was supposed to be watching her]...that is when I knew I was officially over this week!

You see...it's just sucked!

Their is something big going on that I haven't blogged about.  Part because I've been busy, partly because I'm scared, but mostly because I've just been hoping that if I ignore it long enough it will go away.

It's Murdock.

He's sick.  Not just sick...he's been sick before.  But like sick, sick!

Before Jordyn was born we noticed a large bump under his right eye.  We let it go for a while, thinking it would heal on it's own.  Since then, we have been to Dr. Dotz three times.  Although unsure what it was, he was pretty convinced it would open, drain, and heal on it's own.  Now, almost two months later Murdock has probably a hundred bumps all over his body.  They are under the skin, but eventually break open.  He has lots of other symptoms too.  Increased temp, heart rate, sleep, urination, and thick drooling.  Decreased appetite [like none at all] and activity.  He's sleeping approximately 23 1/2 hours a day and struggles to get onto our bed or into the back of the SUV.  He's just plain sick and not himself.  This week he stopped opening his mouth altogether.  In the past two months, he's lost about 18 pounds; this morning he weighed 88lbs.  :(

So...our vet recommended we bring him to the Iowa State University where they specialize in Vet Med to have the specialists look at him.  Yesterday we spend 7 hours in the Dermatology Department where they tested blood and urine samples and took x-rays.  His x-rays looked great.  They heard a slight heart murmur and the blood work had some areas they wanted to pursue, but nothing that said what the specific problem is.

So...they had us come back to the hospital today.  I had to have Murdock in here at 7:30 am for an echogram to check out his heart and the valves around it.  The echo looked great, allowing them to put him under anesthesia for a few biopsies.  They placed his IV Catheter and Tracheal Tube, but they weren't able to open his mouth far enough for a biopsy.  We're all unsure why his mouth is unable to open and how it is related to the nodules at this point.  They did however get a biopsy from other areas.  The bacterial portion of the biopsy should be in Monday.  The fungal portion will take about two weeks.  Until then we're headed home with pain medication to hopefully take the edge off enough so he can eat.  If he hasn't eaten by tomorrow, Dr. Foster will call in a script for depression [to increase appetite...hopefully!].

At this point we have no answers.  We've set a financial limit and already went well over just to start finding the problem.  We haven't even discussed treatment options at this point.  Dr. Dotz wasn't kidding when he told us to plan for thousands.  We're really at a loss over what to do. He is practically our first child and we've had him for 3 years.  He is honestly the best dog I know; he's kind, loving, and gentle.  It makes me sad to think Jordyn may never know him.  One the other hand we've already spent more in testing than we did for all of our medical bills having Jordyn [and I thought that was a lot...ha!]  We're just not sure where to draw the line.  It's easy to say you would do anything for your pet, but when it comes down to it, how far can you really go?  This month is hitting us pretty hard with Murdocks many vet bills, Jordyn's hospital bills, Christmas, and me on maternity leave.   Let's just hope this isn't a glimpse of how 2012 is going to go...

We love you Murdock...feel better soon...we miss you!  Mama, Dad, & Little Sis

Murdock Allen

Last night was a particularly rough evening for me.  It wasn't a milestone, so it was pretty unexpected.  I've learned to prepare for the 'milestone' days {27th of the month, holidays, 'firsts' that you're missing, etc.} in fact it was 40 days from yesterday.  I'm assuming it was because last night was the first night the four of us were all home, together, and healthy enough to have dinner as a family and play together afterwards and you weren't here with us.  Maybe I'm emotional because I'm still sick.  Or just still pissed that you never got to move into the new house with us.  How can it be home when we aren't all here? I'm not really sure, but I've given myself enough time that I wanted to write your story out.

Our first photo together -- at the Jefferson kennel [2009]

Every story has a beginning, middle, and end. This is Murdock's story. We love & miss you like crazy, Murd!

At our bridal shower [2009]

We brought you home just less than seven years ago. It was a cold winter Saturday morning, and I had just moved in with Adam a few months prior.  We engaged yet, but I had been hinting that we needed a dog.  Adam wasn't on board, until this morning when he woke up and showed me a website with you on it.  We drove to Jefferson, IA that day.  I fell in love with you immediately.  I knew you were 'the one.'  I was devastated that I couldn't take you home with me, but anxious to prepare for your arrival less than a week later. 

One of my favorite photos of you 

I remember your first car ride with me so vividly.  We were in my Nissan Altima, me in the drivers seat, you in the passengers.  But not for long.  Before we made it out of the city limits, you were in my lap.  We drove around a lot like that in those early years.  You went every where with us -- errands, play dates, friend's houses, on walks, the dog park, and the lake.

Perhaps my favorite story with you is the night, less than a week after we got you, when I felt guilty about leaving you in your kennel when we went to dinner and to meet a friends' new baby in the hospital, so I let you ride along and stay in the car.  We learned that night that you get anxious when lots of people are walking in and out, and as a result, you pooped all over the back seat of Adam's car.  Thankfully it had leather seats.  We also learned just how much I loved you that night when I cleaned it up. 

You were hands down the most kind and gentle dog, and almost anyone that met you told us that, too.  You never nipped at anyone--if you were annoyed you simply walked away.  Simply put you were the best dog we could have had when we started adding kids to the family.  My biggest fear is that they won't remember you--despite the number of 'horse rides' you gave them or 'hugs' they gave you.  

In your early days you loved to go running with me which was one of my favorite times with you, other than going to bed each night.  Every night was the same…you started in the bed with me and when Adam came to bed you hoped down to your pillow without hesitation.  When we first got you, we kenneled you, but after just a few months we started leaving you out to roam all day.  Considering we never 'trained' you and I can only think of a handful of 'Marley Moments' in 7 years, I would say you were a damn good dog! We were so lucky to find you.

We dealt with ear infections and skin allergies which paled in comparison to the vet bills that came in the following years.  Shortly after Jordyn was born, you stopped eating and we almost lost you.  We spent so much time and money at the Iowa State Vet clinic that year.  The Derm department ran every test they could think of to get you better.  The staff fell in love with you.  I kept you alive on meat babyfood.  I remember sending Adam to all of the stores in town to buy out what they had in stock.  You were so sick Adam had to carry you up and down the stairs at our condo.  At one point, you, Jordyn, and I moved to the lake house for a bit so you didn't have to deal with stairs.  In the end, they determined you had an Auto-Immune Disorder.  A disorder that you lived with for the next 4 years.  I can honestly say I thanked God for you every single day of those 4 years.  You always were my first baby.  

Speaking of baby, you always knew as soon as I was pregnant and never left my side during that time.  You were always great with Jordyn, but as soon as we added our baby boy, Cullyn to the family, you were instant best friends. You two were unseparable. You loved us all, but Cullyn was your buddy.  He never quite learned how to say Murdock correctly, always sounding more like 'Marker' 

You had several of nicknames over the years. Murd. Rufus. But most commonly, Murdock Allen.  I know people thought we were crazy for giving you a middle name, but we didn't even think twice about it.  It was totally unplanned, but the second Adam called you Murdock Allen, it just fit.  And so you became Murdock Allen Hubbard.

We fell in love with you and we fell hard. You were my first, my only, pet.  Which is why the end of your story is the hardest to write. My eyes are filled and that lump just won’t leave the back of my throat. 

Thanksgiving morning we all packed up from the lake and headed to my parent's house.  After lunch, you began hacking up white foam and drooling, which was uncommon for you.  We assumed you had gotten part of someone's Thanksgiving meal, since a very unfortunate side effect of one of your medicines was that you always thought you were starving.  So we grumbled about having to take turns leaving the living room to take you downstairs, through the garage, and outside.  This went on through the night.  I sent Adam to bed and stayed up with you--taking you out every 5-15 minutes.  Just before 2a I started googling your symptoms, fearing your stomach was going to flip.  I got down past upset stomach and saw bloat.  I remember actually being relieved that that's 'all it was.'  Stupid me.  About 4a I looked at the site again and kept reading.  That's when I knew what was happening.  Your stomach was in fact flipping, like I had painfully watched--and sobbed through--in Marley & Me as a kid.  I spent the next 4 hours preparing myself and deciding what to tell the kids.  I knew that surgery wasn't an option, you had already been through so much.  And at 7, I knew in my mind you had lived a really good live, despite what my heart was telling me.  I cried, and cried, and cried while holding you.  I held you almost every day for 7 years, I couldn't imagine not taking you to bed that night.  I thought about all of the things you were going to miss and how I didn't get enough video of you with the kids.  

Around 6a you finally stopped throwing up and drooling.  I finally rested for a bit.  At 8a, I called a local vet {a family friend about 45 minutes from my parent's house}  She was off {it was Friday, Black Friday--which was always be black Friday for us now} but agreed to come in for us.  So on Friday, November 27th, Adam and I took you to the clinic.  Adam tried to insist I stay home and let him handle it, but I couldn't bear the thought of leaving you one second before I had to.  I sat with you in the back of the van the whole way to the clinic.  The vet said there was nothing she could do, your stomach had in fact flipped.  At 10a, you took your last breath while laying on the floor of the Independence Vet Clinic.  I was holding you and sobbing like a crazy lady and so thankful we were the only people in the clinic.  Just like that, we left for the holiday weekend as a family of five and would go home as a family of four.  Although the night was long, I remember thinking it was all happening so fast.  So unexpected.  I had a hard time convincing myself it was real.

Well the tears are streaming now and it's getting hard to read when I'm writing, plus I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to end this.  Just know you're always on my mind, Murd.  Some days I still wake up thinking I have to take you out and every time I walk in the door, I wait to be greeted by you.  I only wish.

I'm thankful for every single one of these photos I made you take.  There will never be enough.

We miss you every single day, Murdock.  I love you more than you'll ever know.  Mama