Thursday, June 6, 2013

Breastfeeding

For a mom that thought she wouldn't get any milk, this brings tears to my eyes.
Let me start this post by saying I never wrote anything about my breastfeeding experience with Jordyn. At the time is was just too raw and I wasn't about to talk about it let alone write it for the world to read.

Looong story {kinda} short, my plan was to breastfeed until returned to work and then pump and bottle feed.  I hadn't researched much, so I just assumed I would deliver her, my milk would come in, and we would all live happily ever after.  And then I delivered her and my milk didn't come in.  I tried to nurse her and she got a {very} little bit of colostrum {like a few drops!} and then we started her on formula {so she didn't starve!}.  I continued to pump every 2 hours for 20 minutes thinking I would eventually get something.  Over the two weeks I pumped, I produced less than 3 ounces.  It made me really depressed and eventually Adam made me realize it wasn't worth it.  Jordyn was happy and healthy with formula and it was better for everyone if I gave up.  {I was so, so emotional about it.  It wasn't my 'plan' and I hadn't prepared myself not to be able to breastfeed her.  But he was right, it was better for everyone that I just focused on keeping us all happy}.

Fast forward a few months and I was pregnant again.  I knew I really wanted to breastfeed {or at least attempt} again this time.  So, I researched what my options were.  I knew that even though I never produced milk with Jordyn, their was still a chance I could this time around.

I delivered Cullyn and we immediately had skin to skin {kangaroo} time and I tired to nurse him.  My milk didn't come in while I was at the hospital, so I did was is called S&S feeding {thanks to the two AMAZING nurses I had}.  I don't remember what it stands for but basically we formula fed him through a tiny tube.  The bottle of formula was hooked up by my shoulder and a long, skinny tube ran from there to my nipple.  Cullyn then 'breastfed' but it was formula.  This was perfect so that he learned how to latch and suck for when my milk came in, but he was still getting formula {and I knew how much}.

While waiting for my milk to come it I was better about drinking lots of water and consuming enough calories {something I wasn't great with after delivering Jordyn}.  I also took Fenugreek tablets three times a day and ate lots of granola to help my supply.  Luckily, I did get some milk {about 4-14 ounces a day}.  It still wasn't enough, so we were supplementing with formula.  Unfortunately, my supply never picked up no matter now often I pumped or how much water I consumed.

I pumped for four weeks, but one weekend we went back home and I wasn't good about drinking enough water or taking the pills and totally dried up.  It was still sad, but I wasn't completely devastated like I was the first time.  I'm thankful I was able to give him what I was and know that it was better than nothing.  Even though I still wasn't able to breastfeed as long as I wanted, I will still try again next time in hopes that I will produce even more.  {Who knows, maybe by our 5th kid I'll actually be able to breastfeed the entire first year!} :)

On a positive note...I no longer have to hold my arm in front my my chest when I shower {does the pain of the water hitting you ever go away?!} and due to my severe lack of supply, I never experienced 'drying up' like everyone talks about.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for telling your story!
    I had a breast reduction in 2007 so my milk dried up pretty quickly. When this one comes, I'm going to try to do a little more to see if I can make it a little longer before I dry up. It's really inspiring to hear your story and know that I'm not alone :)

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Thanks for taking the time to read some of our story & especially for commenting!

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